I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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