dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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