mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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