will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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