i used baking grease as lip gloss
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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