If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
