It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize