It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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