I'm lost and stupid without you.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.