I need help removing her.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles