VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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