please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
