Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
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I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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