I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize