better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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