If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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