Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
