you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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