this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
