that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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