why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize