Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
