dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
