Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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