This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......