what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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