matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize