Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Small penises have feelings too.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
