I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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