i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me