So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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