she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
His nipple licking is glorious
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