I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
