but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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