I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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