We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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