I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why