I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.