And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?