Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
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New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
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I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.