o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
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Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
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Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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