Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted