I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"