I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
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I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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