Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Blood and glitter go together right?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
