our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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