Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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