My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
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Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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