i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
