How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize