maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
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Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.