Nicole vs. Life
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.