i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.