I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
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just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
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Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.