I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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