What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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