That's intense
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
