yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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