Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
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Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...