I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water