Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?

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  (281): so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad? http://tfl.nu/ttkx
  Replies (18) Good night (1376) Bad night (5119)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  her nose should be used as a dorsal fin

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  (404): her nose should be used as a dorsal fin http://tfl.nu/cjiq
  Replies (10) Good night (690) Bad night (3141)
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  (949): View more from California

  even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that

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  (949): even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that http://tfl.nu/ftma
  Replies (29) Good night (692) Bad night (4498)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it

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  (303): We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it http://tfl.nu/osby
  Replies (37) Good night (2356) Bad night (5218)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.

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  (617): The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke. http://tfl.nu/s0m0
  Replies (13) Good night (2529) Bad night (1919)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Do I even want to know?

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  (480): My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend. (1-480): Do I even want to know? http://tfl.nu/wopv
  Replies (28) Good night (4682) Bad night (1882)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding

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  (313): There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding http://tfl.nu/91sj
  Replies (16) Good night (1572) Bad night (3762)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off

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  (303): I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off http://tfl.nu/ymwa
  Replies (13) Good night (980) Bad night (993)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  do we own a ladder

  (206): View more from Washington

  We do not.

  (360): View more from Washington

  then how am i on the roof

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  (360): do we own a ladder (206): We do not. (360): then how am i on the roof http://tfl.nu/xqbq
  Replies (18) Good night (5818) Bad night (847)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.

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  (501): He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit. http://tfl.nu/208i
  Replies (10) Good night (1652) Bad night (1171)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.

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  (508): It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience. http://tfl.nu/aded
  Replies (3) Good night (1303) Bad night (428)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?

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  (914): I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator? http://tfl.nu/y5q4
  Replies (3) Good night (757) Bad night (407)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.

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  (705): His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband. http://tfl.nu/yqll
  Replies (3) Good night (724) Bad night (498)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.

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  (507): I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was. http://tfl.nu/gljz
  Replies (2) Good night (218) Bad night (500)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.

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  (573): The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing. http://tfl.nu/l5s7
  Replies (6) Good night (809) Bad night (148)

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