i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea