i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
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I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
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Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?