Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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