can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
